Off to the airport

It is 6:15am and my mom and I are off to the airport.  I just checked online and our flight is 3hrs delayed already (must be weather in DC).  I am going to the airport anyway to see if there are other flights.  Had a 5 hr layover to start with so we still have 2hrs of cushion but if they are already predicting bad weather - I am really concerned.  Well - nothing I can do now but hope and pray!  Will talk to everyone from Moscow.

Okay - update at 10:15am.  Still in Nashville.  Thankfully the plane is delayed because the crew needed a certain amount of rest between flights or something crazy so while I am not happy that it was delayed.  It is a time-bound delay so we should get to DC with about 2 hrs free.    Hope to be on the plane in about an hour from now.   Heard from Heather and Clare had a good first night with the Robertsons.  So far, so good!  2 hr flight to DC, 10 hr flight to Moscow, one more night of sleep and I will be meeting my referral!

Update # 2 - In DC at 3pm.  Having a quick late lunch at Harry's Tap Room.  Taking off for Moscow in about 2hrs.  Have a few minutes to post a couple pictures.  So - yesterday when I was dropping Ginger off at doggie boarding (Dogtopia), the owner was telling me about his time studying abroad in Moscow and to stay far away from the men in black track suits - typically Russian Mob.  Well, to my surprise, I wake up this morning, ready to hit the airport and what do you think my mom is wearing - a beautiful black track suit.  She thought she was auditioning for the Sopranos or something.  Check it out!  Hysterical!  Love my mom!  If anyone bothers us in Moscow, my polish-portuguese bodyguard will be sure to take care of it! Paka!

Happy Birthday Joseph Michael Reardon

What a great day!  I am officially an aunt!  Baby Joseph Michael Reardon was born to proud parents Michael and Holly around 6:30am, weighing in at a beautiful 8lbs14oz, about 21 inches long, with black curly hair and a gorgeous little face.  What an angel and a total blessing.  Poor Holly was in labor about 60 hours - a mother's sacrifice for the love of her life.   Happy to report Holly and Joseph are both doing great and resting comfortably now - everyone getting to know each other.  A room filled with joy, peace and love.  8 days from now, I am hopeful that I too will be holding my child in my arms - filled with that same joy, peace, and love.   Wrote a few quick lines about some of the feelings and thoughts on my heart right now...  Thanks for letting me share.

Child of mine, not born of my body, yet always in my heart,
do you know that you are loved, although time and miles keep us apart?
The waiting, the distance, the questions never-ending...
I remain hopeful in God's plan for us, steadfast and unbending.
Hold on dear one, while others keep you in their care.
I will be there soon with love, with warmth, with a life to share.
To hold you, to comfort you, to kiss away your tears!
A mother's wish - to protect her child - from pain, from hurt, from fears.
The time is near, dear little one, for our life to begin with peace and love and joy.
One more question on my heart - will you be a girl?  or a boy?

Ha!  Hope you all didn't mind me sharing just a little of what is on my heart these days.  8 more days.

Happy Birthday Joseph Michael and welcome to the family!

2 more weeks

2 weeks from today I will be on my way to Moscow.  It is funny how this happens.  You have so much time to prepare and then as the time comes closer, you feel so unprepared.  So much to do.  Need to make my list and just start crossing things off.  Cannot wait!

Crazy FBI

So, I had sent off for my FBI clearance on March 3rd.  The great news is that I received it back 4 weeks after sending in for it.  Pretty quick!    The bad news is that they spelled my last name wrong.  UGH!  Will figure out how to get that fixed next week so I have it all ready to send in after Trip 1, in preparation for trip 2.
Leaving for Moscow 3 weeks from today for Trip 1.  So looking forward to meeting my referral and making this all real - finally.

Hoping, praying, holding on

So, I received 2 pictures with birth and current measurements for my referral earlier this week.  She is a sweet little angel and looks so happy.  Definitely a few concerns that cannot be resolved until I see her in person with Dr. M so I am totally driving myself crazy worrying about FAS right now.  Carol has been great trying to keep me level headed and calm until I make the trip in 5 weeks but that is going to be a LONG 5 weeks.  Does she or doesn't she have a pronounced enough philtrum?  Does she or doesn't she have enough upper lip?  What happened with her birth mother?  I thought just the plain ol' waiting was hard... now I am waiting with so many questions swirling in my head.  I am just praying for clarity in that moment when I am called to make a decision.  It is all I can do I suppose.

What if I turn her down and come home without a referral?  Every day, Russia grows more and more difficult, particularly for single parents.  I guess I need to prepare myself that this door could close.  I am so blessed with sweet monkey Clare so I will be happy and proud to be her mother alone but I so want her to be a big sister and to share her life with a sibling.  I have always thought it would be a sister.  Am I willing to consider a little boy?  Do sons need fathers?  I know so many boys who don't have dads - whether it is from divorce or adoption or tragedy.  Other single moms I know with boys are doing just great.  Could I?

So many questions - no answers right now.  Hoping, praying, holding on...

Keeping Busy

6 weeks left until I leave for Moscow!  In the meantime, Clare has started soccer.  First game was today for Team Portugal and #4!  What pure entertainment to watch 3-years olds running around the soccer field.  Couldn't ask for a better distraction from the torture of waiting...

New Travel Dates

God has a plan!  WOOHOO!  I have new travel dates for an amazing little angel in the Moscow region.  It has been a long week with some serious lows but all things happen for a reason.  Carol called me yesterday with news of a referral for me in Moscow and confirmed today that I am cleared to arrive on Sunday, April 24 (Easter) and will meet this darling on Monday.  I changed my flights today, changed the dates on my visa, and sent off for FBI clearance.  Carol and the CSS team have been so amazing and supportive during a really difficult time.  I feel super blessed to have them working so hard on my behalf.   Long journey yet ahead but am excited and hopeful and ready to meet my new daughter.  Can you believe it?  For those of you that have been on the emotional roller coaster with me this past week - thank you for the love and support and certainly for the prayers.  I have the best family and friends in the world!