Nov 19 - The Baby Hospital

Tanya and Gregory picked me up at 10am after what I might possibly call my worst case of jet lag ever.  I think the jet lag, coupled with nerves and excitement just left me wide awake - all night!  Finally at about 6am, I fell asleep until 9am.  Hey - 3hrs of sleep is better than none.  I will take it!  Then off to the babyhome.  We had to get a piece of paper for court, showing that I had visited Audrey.  Unfortunately, she is still suffering from her upper respiratory infection so was at the baby hospital.  It wasn't too far from the babyhome - maybe a 5 minute drive or so.  She is going to be there until next Thursday they think.

You want to talk heartbreak - go to a baby hospital in Russia.  Audrey was in a room with 5 cribs.  The room was literally no bigger than my closet - granted I have a huge closet - but it was maybe 10x10.  There were 2 other children with her.  One little boy who was severely physically and developmentally challenged and a little girl who looked to be about 2 years old who kept reaching for me to hold her and calling me Mama. Tanya said this was probably the rooms for orphans as other kids had their parents with them in private rooms.   Honestly, I just wanted to cry right then seeing Audrey all alone in that room with these other 2 kids.  It is bad enough to be sick but to be sick and with no love or comfort.  Heartbreak!  I really can't even think about.  It was so incredibly hard to leave her there.

I was able to spend about an hour with her.  The social worker who will be with us at court joined us too.  She was observing me with Audrey and also asking me prep questions - how long will I stay home with Audrey before going back to work?  Who will care for her once I do go back to work?  What if she gets so sick that I need to quit my job - how will we afford to live?  Am I aware of her diseases?  All pretty basic questions - but nerve-wracking nonetheless on Monday when the judge will ask me.

As for Audrey - she looks the same, still cute but tiny.  She still isn't sitting up but she has been sick so is probably pretty weak.  I was glad to hear her little voice today.  So sweet.  She smiled and let out a little screech when I first picked her up.  I felt my heart just burst that made me so happy.  I don't think she recognized me necessarily (although I can dream).  I think she was more just so thrilled to be cuddled close to someone.  I will get to see her again tomorrow which will be the last time before our GOTCHA day which should be December 5th if all goes as planned.

The weather today is just what you would expect from Moscow in the winter.  Cold, dreary, with snowy sleet falling.  I don't mind though.  Feel like I am getting the full Russian experience.

I will write again tomorrow after I see sweet Audrey again.  Thanks for following along!

Nov 18 - Arrived safely

My flight landed on time and I am here at the Marriott Grand.  Tanya was waiting for me (as always) when I exited Customs.  Unfortunately, my driver and now good friend, Sasha (Alexander) wasn't with her.  Not sure why but there is a new driver - Gregoire.  Very nice man as well and same Russian driving techniques so I am in good hands but I will certainly miss Sasha.

I didn't do much today.  Was at the hotel by 3pm and rested for a couple of hours, caught up on some work email and now I am going to have a salad at the hotel lobby bar.  Tanya and Gregoire are picking me up at 10am to go see Audrey, who has been sick and is at the baby hospital.  Nothing major - a fever and bronchitis is what they have told me - nothing to worry about...  To help ensure others don't also get sick, it is typical to take the kids to the baby hospital when they have a fever.  Tanya wasn't sure if she would be back at the babyhome or not for our visit but if not, she said that we could visit her at the baby hospital.  While obviously I would prefer that she is better and staying warm and as cozy as possible in the comfort of her babyhome crib, I will just be happy to see her and hold her and kiss her and talk to her - wherever that happens to be.

As for sweet Monkey, Clare, she is having a blast with Charlotte and her family back in Nashville.  Charlotte sent me a video of Clare playing with her daughter Hannah, just giggling and having so much fun.   I have the best friends who love Clare so much and  take such good care of her when I am away.  That makes leaving so much easier.

I will post again tomorrow and let you know how the visit with little Audrey went.  Hope all is well back home.

P.S.  Alice Cooper and his entourage are sitting at the table next to me at the lobby bar.  I didn't know his name but knew the face.  Google helped me figure out who he actually was...  The wonders of the Internet - so glad Al Gore invented it.  Ha!

On my way for court

I am in the Dulles airport with just about 2hrs left before I board the plane for Moscow, on my way for my court date, Monday.  All of the emotions are starting to finally hit.  I have been so focused on making sure Clare was going to be okay for these last two trips and preparing all my work stuff for my absence and getting everything I would need for trips 2 and 3 that I haven't even really thought about what I am actually getting ready for...  Audrey and I were family long before I knew her and before she knew me.  This long, emotional journey is almost to an end and I just couldn't be happier.   Now we just need a judge to tell us what I know in my heart already - that she is my daughter and I am her mommy.  It will be a great day.  Then 10 days later, we will have our long-awaited GOTCHA day and I can bring her home to meet her sister and the rest of her family and our friends.  So thrilled and anxious and ready...    Looking forward to holding and kissing sweet Audrey on Saturday and Sunday!  Will post again when I land in Moscow on Friday.

Paka!

Kathy

Court Date!

I have a court date!  November 21st!  So exciting and so much to do to get ready.  It will be just a quick weekend jaunt to Moscow.  Arrive on Friday the 18th, visit Audrey on Saturday and Sunday hopefully, court on Monday and back to Nashville on Tuesday.  Then the dreaded 10-day wait before I will go back to Moscow for my 3rd and final trip.  If all goes well, we will land back home and Audrey will become a US Citizen on December 10th.  How amazing.  I am off to check on flights, get my visa, book boarding for my dog, Ginger and just celebrate that the end is in sight!  Hooray for court dates!

Happy belated Halloween from me and Snow White, who is patiently waiting to meet her little sister soon!

Maybe the halfway point

This Thursday is 3 weeks since I last saw sweet Audrey.  I am hopeful that what my in-country coordinator told me holds true and that court is typically 6 weeks in the Moscow region which would mean I am at about the halfway point.  I know - silly girl - this is international adoption after all and there are no guarantees.  When will I learn....  Anyway, I sent my last docs off to Carol today - updated medical (3rd time) and my updated 171H with new fingerprints and one-time free extension.  Waiting on updated FBI clearance but Irina thought my current FBI clearance was close enough from a timing perspective (just a wee bit over 6 months) that it might work.  Have gifts bought, clothes and diapers and snowsuit for Audrey, now I just need new travel dates so I can get my last visa and flights.  These 3 weeks flew by so I am hoping the next do as well.  It is great to have all my pictures and video from trip 1 so I can look at her sweet face every day.  I have been checking out apartments through Peace travel too. Trying to decide if I will stay in an apt on the 2nd trip just to check it out before trip 3.  I feel like I might like the ease and comfort of the Marriott Grand though.   Don't need to worry about food at all - the lobby bar had great little salads. The downside is that I won't be able to test out the apartment before I pick up Audrey I guess for trip 3.  Decisions, decisions...   Not much else to say.  Just trying to stay busy and get ready.  I know that my world will soon be very different as a single mother of 2 beautiful girls.  Better enjoy the simplicity of one while it lasts, right?

8-doc medical

Well - let me say this, I had heard the 8-doc medical was not as imposing as it may seem and boy they were not kidding.  Tanya and Sasha picked me up at 10am and off to the clinic - like one of our hospitals.  I had blood taken first for some tests.  As usual with me, it was difficult to find my vein so they had to call in a special nurse to help.  Always happens when I give blood too.  They say I have small veins - who knows.  Anyway, after that, off for x-rays.  As I was getting x-rayed I realized, I don't think I have ever had x-rays before.  Never broken anything or even came close that I can recall so no need I suppose.  Good thing I am not modest.  Had to strip down on the top - all the way.  Tanya was there.  I guess I could have asked her to step out but honestly - that was the least of my worries.  We were done with testing around 11:15am.  Tanya said we would now wait for the blood work and then meet all the doctors.  We went to a small waiting room, right next to what can best be described like an American board room with a long wooden table and chairs all around it.  We were the only ones there today.  That made Tanya sad because she said that normally there are at least 2 families and sometimes up to 5 there at the same time.  She said it just indicates how slow the international adoption process has become in Russia. Then we waited and waited and waited and waited.  Around 2pm, the man, Andrei, who was helping us, went to find some of the doctors.  He came back with 3 signatures on my form, without them even needing to see me - Narcologist, Psychiatrist, and Urologist.  Hooray!  So, 3 hrs down and 3 signatures without even seeing a doc!  Good.  Then we waited some more.  About 2:30, the internist came in listened to my heart, looked at my wrists and ankles and signed the form.  Glad to know my wrists and ankles passed the test!  Hooray.  Halfway through.  Then came in a doctor specializing in infectious diseases - she looked at my papers, asked if I ever had any head injuries or surgeries.  When I responded no - she signed the form.  5 doctors down - 3 to go!  Around 3pm, Andrei went in search of them.  He came back with 2 more signatures - the Dermatologist and the Pulmonologist.  Fantastic.  Within a few minutes, the Oncologist came in, asked if I smoked, I said no - and guess what - he signed the form.  One vial of blood, one set of x-rays, 8 signatures and about 4hrs later and I am declared healthy and fit to adopt.

After the medical, Sasha dropped Tanya and I off at Red Square.  It was great to see everything through her eyes.  St Basil's Cathedral, the History Museum, Ascension Gates, Lenin's Tomb.  We also walked through the GUM (pronounced goom) which is a huge shopping mall that borders Red Square - very very expensive, with shops like Hermes, Van Cleef&Arpel, Lacoste, Gucci, etc.   Tanya gets ice cream there with all her families so of course we had ice cream.  After that, we watched the changing of the guard at their Tomb of the unknown solider.

Then it was time to say goodbye - which was hard - just knowing my trip is coming to an end.  I hated not seeing Audrey today.  I so look forward to getting that call from Carol that a court date has been set.  I don't think it will be less than 4 weeks from now but am hoping not more than 8.  They all think about 6 weeks which puts me in the middle of November.  Sdending prayers about that.

Tomorrow, Sasha picks me up at 7am for my 12hr flight back to Houston, 6-hr layover and then should land in Nashville around 10pm.  Cannot wait to give Clare so many hugs and kisses.  She will be sleeping by the time I get home but I will absolutely be waking her up.  :)

Hope all is well back home!  I will write again when I know more about a court date. Until then - as they say in Russia - paka!

The famous Bolshoi Theater (from the car of course);  Tanya said it is scheduled
to reopen in October, after 6 years!  I guess the wait for tickets is months and months!

St. Basil's taken from the front - in Red Square

Ascension Gate, one of the 2 entrances to Red Square.
We saw 3 bridal parties today!

The changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Solider

Day 4 and a sad goodbye

Day 4 of visiting sweet Audrey but also the day I had to say goodbye to her for about 6 weeks.  She was pretty tired today.  We arrived at almost 2 o'clock today after visiting the notary and the office in the morning.  I think they maybe woke her up for our visit because she just seemed more groggy today.   I felt like maybe she recognized me when they brought her in (perhaps wishful thinking) and maybe even a hint of happiness to see me?   We had a lot of snuggle time today, knowing that she was going to be without me for awhile again.  She was very cuddly today and just curled up in my arms, sucking those middle two fingers.  It was heartbreaking to say goodbye.  Of course there were tears - or as Sasha my driver says - sad eyes today!   I know all of us Russian adoptive parents go through this.  The agony of thinking she might feel abandoned again in her short little life.  She finally meets this person who gives her so much love and attention, even for just a short while each day, and then soon it is gone again.  Certainly she is too young to remember me when I get back but of course I dread the thought of her little heart feeling any sadness or loneliness again.  I just keep reminding myself that we will have a lifetime together - or at least 18 years until she goes off to college.   6 weeks will be just a distant memory before we know it.  Until I can return, I will be praying for her safekeeping and for her to be showered with the best love her caregivers can offer.

Tomorrow is the infamous 8-doctor medical appt and then back home on Saturday.  Trip 1 is almost done.  November will be here soon and Audrey should be an American citizen and officially my daughter just in time for a great Christmas in Nashville!

Until next time!