Trip 1 (round 2)

I am leaving tomorrow for Moscow.  Off to Houston at 8:50am, six hr layover at Hobby and then Moscow bound on Singapore Air!  I am a total ball of emotions.  Everyone keeps asking me if I am excited.  The answer yes - but I am also feeling so many other things it is hard to sort through it all.  Absolutely excited to meet my new daughter on Monday.  Nervous about all the possibilities and why things might not go as I hope.  Sad to leave Clare for a week.  Grateful to have this amazingly loving, caring, supportive group of friends who will take such great care of Clare while I am gone.  Mournful of the 3 referrals who weren't meant to be mine.  Hopeful that they are finally with their true forever families.  Anxious about what Moscow will be like on my own, without the comfort of my mom this time around.  Scared I will get carsick (again) on the dreaded ride out to the orphanage (dramamine packed this time!).  Questioning why I can't be one of those lucky people who choose not to eat when they are stressed versus eating and gaining the 5lbs I have over the past few months.  Another adoptive mom called it "wait gain".  I thought that was fitting.  So how I am feeling - who the heck knows...  What I do know is that I love Clare with all my heart, love my family and friends and have fallen in love with this beautiful picture of a sweet angel over the past few weeks.  The rest is out of my hands and God's plan for me will be revealed soon enough.  So maybe that is it - I feel in love and faithful.  More to come from Moscow.