Thursday, September 29, 2011

Day 4 and a sad goodbye

Day 4 of visiting sweet Audrey but also the day I had to say goodbye to her for about 6 weeks.  She was pretty tired today.  We arrived at almost 2 o'clock today after visiting the notary and the office in the morning.  I think they maybe woke her up for our visit because she just seemed more groggy today.   I felt like maybe she recognized me when they brought her in (perhaps wishful thinking) and maybe even a hint of happiness to see me?   We had a lot of snuggle time today, knowing that she was going to be without me for awhile again.  She was very cuddly today and just curled up in my arms, sucking those middle two fingers.  It was heartbreaking to say goodbye.  Of course there were tears - or as Sasha my driver says - sad eyes today!   I know all of us Russian adoptive parents go through this.  The agony of thinking she might feel abandoned again in her short little life.  She finally meets this person who gives her so much love and attention, even for just a short while each day, and then soon it is gone again.  Certainly she is too young to remember me when I get back but of course I dread the thought of her little heart feeling any sadness or loneliness again.  I just keep reminding myself that we will have a lifetime together - or at least 18 years until she goes off to college.   6 weeks will be just a distant memory before we know it.  Until I can return, I will be praying for her safekeeping and for her to be showered with the best love her caregivers can offer.

Tomorrow is the infamous 8-doctor medical appt and then back home on Saturday.  Trip 1 is almost done.  November will be here soon and Audrey should be an American citizen and officially my daughter just in time for a great Christmas in Nashville!

Until next time!

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